found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
