Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
