She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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