got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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