We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
