The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
