I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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