I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
