Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister

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(334): View more from Alabama

You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

Like Teddy Roosevelt

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(307): View more from Wyoming

I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.

(847): View more from Illinois

i think the last part kind of negates the first part there

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(213): View more from California

2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.

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(314): View more from Missouri

She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"

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