So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
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Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
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He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude