there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.