some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...