Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets