If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.