I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.