yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
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His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.