then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
