May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
