My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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