dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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