apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
