Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Buhtt sex?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
