you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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