This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
