Where is the hickey?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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