I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
