i don't plan on having that self control this summer
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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