She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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