Just cropdusted the office
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
