I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize