I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
