Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
