Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
