If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
