I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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