I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
