My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've blown a few things in my day
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize