What a fucking waste of an outfit
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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