I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
