Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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