Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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