i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
