Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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