I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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