i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize