doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
