So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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