i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
