Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
