if you like me you must not know who I am
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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