There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
