Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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