Christians are straight up FREAKS
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
