Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
