is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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