Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Randomize
