he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
