ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
