Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i've created a new STD.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
