If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize