I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
