it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
