Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
