I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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