My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So many bounce houses so little time
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
