Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
